i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
