____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
