??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
