Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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