I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
