I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
