U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
