i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
