i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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