You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
