I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
