just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
