You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
