It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
lets start a swedish sibling band together
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
