I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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