You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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