my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
