ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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