I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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