They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
