I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
