Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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