you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
