So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
