I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
MIDGETS
????
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
