grandma shit on top of the toilet
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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