i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
