do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
