I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize