Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize