no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
