So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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