Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
