mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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