I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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