you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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