so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Randomize
