How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize