He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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