Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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