i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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