Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
