He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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