She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
