I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
