We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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