Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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