I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
