? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
