$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Randomize
