she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
