Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am available for nakedness
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
