i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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