Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
