So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
