Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
