Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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