Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
