Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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