sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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